by Dr. Karen Sherman www.drkarensherman.com Dr. Karen Sherman offers information to help couples deal with potential relationship difficulties. Out of the Ashes... It has been awhile since I have written a Timely Topic. I know this is a result of the feelings brought out in response to the recent tragedy of the World Trade Center. It seemed somewhat difficult to offer suggestions about getting married - almost a non-priority in contrast to all the suffering and loss that has taken place. I am writing now because it struck me that the very same feelings, or ones similar to them, that I am experiencing are ones that you are likely to be having as well. In a time such as this so many things that seemed so significant in the past don't have the same meaning. There are lots of issues that now have become petty. Is it really so important whether you add one more couple to the guest list? Should there be 25 or 30 flowers in the centerpiece? Does it matter if the stamps you wanted to use on the return envelope don't match the ones on the invitation? How can you spend so much money on a one-day event when people no longer have their families intact or know how they are going to survive financially? And on a much broader level, is it right to be focusing on happy events? Questions like these are very typical for people who survive such an overwhelming tragedy; it is called survivor's guilt. Additionally, many of us in our society are feeling anxious and depressed. How could we not? And again, in light of emotions such as these, it is hard to think about enjoying ourselves. But when something as devastating and tragic as the WTC occurs, there are important lessons that can be learned: Life is always offering challenges that we must face We can best meet those challenges through the support of our family and friends It is through love and kindness that we can best be there for one another Being there for one another will offer us much greater satisfaction and riches than can ever be acquired. The planning of our weddings and the frivolity around it is important because it serves as a marker for a partnership. The union of the two of you is truly about making a commitment to be there for each other with love and kindness. As you work to learn to respect one another and your differences, rather than getting caught up in unimportant trivial matters, you will create a strong important bond that will offer far reaching positive meaning for you as well as our society. So, go ahead with your wedding plans and hold dear to you all that it truly signifies. Copyright © Dr. Karen Sherman www.karensherman.com